Show and Tell

I have been wrestling with the writing maxim "show, don't tell" recently, especially in terms of critiquing other writers' work in the writing groups to which I belong. Here are some useful links for the time being:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Show,_don%27t_tell

http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/creative1/showing/

http://www.coffeehouseforwriters.com/fictionfix/0505Grossack.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_4557836_show-not-tell-writing-fiction.html

Here is my example:

He was angry. He wanted a beer. He walked up to the bar and demanded service.

Versus

He stomped up to the bar. “Where the hell’s my beer?”

The first example is clearly telling. I, as author, am telling you, as reader, what is happening, and little more than what is happening, rather like a reporter writing for a high school newspaper might relate the events.

But as a writer, it is my desire, some might argue calling, to engage the reader with logic and emotion. So while the second version cleanly communicates some emotion, it honestly still feels a bit too much like telling at this point.

Hmmmm, still needs work.